Tag Archives: trust

I Know Who You Are

Oh man, this song captures my thoughts. I have had such thoughts about God, where things seems to dark, that one wonders why God allows the dark to persist, and you feel like “Lord I don’t understand You.”

I have found that the funny thing is that, things ought to be like that. Were we able to fully comprehend God, He would cease to be God. We must just humbly realize and admit that there are depths to God’s dealings we can’t fully appreciate, though we may say – “I don’t know what you doing” we can say – “I know who You are”.

He is a God of love, a God of mercy, a God who ever has our interests at heart; because of that, we can rest our trust in Him, even through the valley of the shadow of death.

My cry did enter into His ears

With nearly being involved in 3 incidents that could have caused serious harm or worse, the brevity of life is a thought I have had to confront, and realise that tomorrow is promised to no man.

A cause of frustration

Today has been an interesting day, capping off an interesting week. As I have stated before, as is clear from my blog title, my calling in life is to be a missionary, and that is the goal I have been striving for, for quite some time now, and in the past few weeks I had been becoming a bit frustrated with how things have been panning out, it came to a head this week. Reflecting on the year and how things have worked out/or not; plans I thought were assured of God, but have not gone as anticipated, I have been left wondering – Father is line of communication still clear between me and You?

Yes I can say I see how You have graciously answered other requests I had made, but why is it on these major points I seem to have not heard you aright? The biggest of all being my calling, and seemingly how slow plans i have been progressing. So I determined that I shall put these matters to prayer until God gives me clarity on them.

So I started praying; seeking particular answer in regard to my calling, for God to reconfirm it to me – as long as I am clear on that, I don’t care too much about much else. Yesterday and today I felt very frustrated with regard to that, today for the first time in a long time, having to go to work, I felt like – I really do not want to be doing this! I love my work, I love programming, but I no longer love it for itself, I love it for what I believe can be done with it in regard to the gospel, I love as an avenue of business for the low capital required for it, so I can get money for projects I want to do.

The answer(s) came

But God heard this poor man’s cries; during the day I had a very nice conversation with a friend at work, about religion, it made me remember I had once promised to share some studies with him, before I got decommissioned for some time. So first realization – there is still some work for you here.

Then later on, while going to church for Sabbath opening, after I had just turned off one major route to another one, I was thinking – the road seems more congested than usual. Now what I like to usually do after are get onto that national road is to move into the 2nd lane from the left as soon as I can, because a short distance from there I will have to take the off ramp – which has a fork, since I need to go right at that fork, its just safer to be in the 2nd lane. But initially I couldn’t move to it because of how congested the road was, so thought I will see a bit later.

Just as I have had these thoughts, I see the trailor of a vechile in the 3rd lane start to sway. It swayed to the left hand side to the extent that I had to step on the brakes to make sure I don’t collide with it in case it moves all the way to my lane. Thankfully it didn’t, but it was fully in the 2nd lane (where I had wanted to move to). I don’t remember exactly what I happened, I’m not sure if the car that was in that lane collided with it or not, I had just been relieved to be involved in that scene (truly hope whoever was involved shall be ok).

As truly sad as such an incident is, I couldn’t help but gleam a lesson from it (considering what has been on my mind). One thing I once shared about is I don’t take praying for travelling mercies for granted, I really don’t, with once missing an accident by one second, and nearly being bumped while walking, I know the need to pray over such.

But the lesson I learnt is God knows best, things on the road were such that I couldn’t move to the lane I usually move to, but there was a purpose to that hindrance; God saw what lay ahead. So even with me, the hindrance I have felt towards achieving my goals, God knows why He is permitting that, and I just have to wait on His timing for things to come together.

Then I get to church, and it was beautiful. At the end, for prayer, the person that was conducting it shared some words that spoke so much to my situation. While I have been praying to God, I have thought – Lord I know about brightening the corner where you are and all, I’m clear on that, but I have bigger plans than this, there is so much more that burdens my heart, because I am unable to do. But through the message shared, God was like – Uhm, I I don’t think its as clear as you think.

Nearly started getting teary eyed as I thought wow, today God has really been answering my prayer, am humbled. To the point where, when I got home, I just took a moment to just say thank you; and a Scripture I read just spoke so clearly to what has been my situation.

“3 Be merciful unto me, O Lord: for I cry unto thee daily.
4 Rejoice the soul of thy servant: for unto thee, O Lord, do I lift up my soul.” Psalms 86:3-4

In the end, I am truly thankful to say – I still breathe, this journey continues on, and I trust to God to do His will in my life, in His own way, in His own time.