With nearly being involved in 3 incidents that could have caused serious harm or worse, the brevity of life is a thought I have had to confront, and realise that tomorrow is promised to no man.
A cause of frustration
Today has been an interesting day, capping off an interesting week. As I have stated before, as is clear from my blog title, my calling in life is to be a missionary, and that is the goal I have been striving for, for quite some time now, and in the past few weeks I had been becoming a bit frustrated with how things have been panning out, it came to a head this week. Reflecting on the year and how things have worked out/or not; plans I thought were assured of God, but have not gone as anticipated, I have been left wondering – Father is line of communication still clear between me and You?
Yes I can say I see how You have graciously answered other requests I had made, but why is it on these major points I seem to have not heard you aright? The biggest of all being my calling, and seemingly how slow plans i have been progressing. So I determined that I shall put these matters to prayer until God gives me clarity on them.
So I started praying; seeking particular answer in regard to my calling, for God to reconfirm it to me – as long as I am clear on that, I don’t care too much about much else. Yesterday and today I felt very frustrated with regard to that, today for the first time in a long time, having to go to work, I felt like – I really do not want to be doing this! I love my work, I love programming, but I no longer love it for itself, I love it for what I believe can be done with it in regard to the gospel, I love as an avenue of business for the low capital required for it, so I can get money for projects I want to do.
The answer(s) came
But God heard this poor man’s cries; during the day I had a very nice conversation with a friend at work, about religion, it made me remember I had once promised to share some studies with him, before I got decommissioned for some time. So first realization – there is still some work for you here.
Then later on, while going to church for Sabbath opening, after I had just turned off one major route to another one, I was thinking – the road seems more congested than usual. Now what I like to usually do after are get onto that national road is to move into the 2nd lane from the left as soon as I can, because a short distance from there I will have to take the off ramp – which has a fork, since I need to go right at that fork, its just safer to be in the 2nd lane. But initially I couldn’t move to it because of how congested the road was, so thought I will see a bit later.
Just as I have had these thoughts, I see the trailor of a vechile in the 3rd lane start to sway. It swayed to the left hand side to the extent that I had to step on the brakes to make sure I don’t collide with it in case it moves all the way to my lane. Thankfully it didn’t, but it was fully in the 2nd lane (where I had wanted to move to). I don’t remember exactly what I happened, I’m not sure if the car that was in that lane collided with it or not, I had just been relieved to be involved in that scene (truly hope whoever was involved shall be ok).
As truly sad as such an incident is, I couldn’t help but gleam a lesson from it (considering what has been on my mind). One thing I once shared about is I don’t take praying for travelling mercies for granted, I really don’t, with once missing an accident by one second, and nearly being bumped while walking, I know the need to pray over such.
But the lesson I learnt is God knows best, things on the road were such that I couldn’t move to the lane I usually move to, but there was a purpose to that hindrance; God saw what lay ahead. So even with me, the hindrance I have felt towards achieving my goals, God knows why He is permitting that, and I just have to wait on His timing for things to come together.
Then I get to church, and it was beautiful. At the end, for prayer, the person that was conducting it shared some words that spoke so much to my situation. While I have been praying to God, I have thought – Lord I know about brightening the corner where you are and all, I’m clear on that, but I have bigger plans than this, there is so much more that burdens my heart, because I am unable to do. But through the message shared, God was like – Uhm, I I don’t think its as clear as you think.
Nearly started getting teary eyed as I thought wow, today God has really been answering my prayer, am humbled. To the point where, when I got home, I just took a moment to just say thank you; and a Scripture I read just spoke so clearly to what has been my situation.
“3 Be merciful unto me, O Lord: for I cry unto thee daily.
4 Rejoice the soul of thy servant: for unto thee, O Lord, do I lift up my soul.” Psalms 86:3-4
In the end, I am truly thankful to say – I still breathe, this journey continues on, and I trust to God to do His will in my life, in His own way, in His own time.