In my last post, I think I neglected to state that I am trying to change the lack of interest I have in food; trying to push myself to cook even if I am not that interested. But I think I know what might be the issue, or partly.
The thing with me is that I am more interested in a process making than in the result of the process: I find cooking more interesting than eating the food I cooked; I have more interest in the process of memorizing Scripture than in actually completed the memorization; even in programming, I prefer the process more than the result – though yes I like playing with what I have produced, but still lean more toward the process.
Well that reason sounded right when it came into my mind, and it was the same thing today. So it being a Sunday I decided to make a good meal, and enjoyed the process of preparing the food, but can’t say the same about eating the food.
It was particularly nice cooking today as I cooked while listening to some Scripture songs.
That is what I realized more clearly yesterday. While talking with some workmates, telling me that I need to get variety into my diet, then I would gain weight; I was like that is not the issue. My issue to be honest is I don’t have much interest in food; what do I mean? If I had the option to be able to live without the need of ever having to eat, especially cook and eat, I would rather not eat.
While I was at home, I would enjoy cooking – when I would, but can’t say there was corresponding delight in eating. Now that I am working, and feel as though there are not enough hours in the day, cooking and eating seem like time draining activities. Solomon said “eat for strength and not for drunkenness” – that is me, I eat out of necessity.
It might be something from long ago, just much worse now. When I became vegan, one of my sisters was like – well you never really liked meat that much anyway. For me, personally I don’t really get people struggling with meat because of its taste – its just food! The only small barrier I had was the social aspect of it, but that was quickly overcome. But now, many years later – I find myself not having much liking to any food really. But I need to change that.
Maybe once my life gets to the point where it is not so busy (self-imposed though), then I will learn to appreciate food more.